Sample ~ Third Competency ~ part three

Theatrical Prompt for Reflection

Primary Need

man offers love with residual motivation

It also refers to a female dog, wolf, fox or otter. So don’t assume the meaning of my words. I could have meant a lot of things by that. In other cultures, it means any number of things. One word can have a lot of meanings—it just depends on one’s own meaning, one’s interjecting, one’s own interjection, injection. All right? All right!

You are a bitch! You are an unyielding, hard-as-nails, tough, callous, rude, rigid bitch! And regardless of what you think I mean by that…I’m an observer, I don’t judge, I observe, I notice and I communicate. I share. Why bother having observations that you are not prepared to share and I’m prepared, for the first time in my life, to share my observations with you and my concern. I am concerned—you’re my sister. I am concerned about your being a bitch—not judgmentally, not derogatorily but compassionately. You’ve suffered the casualty of divorce because, and I’m observing here, people don’t want to stay married to a bitch. Hal didn’t—that’s precisely why he left you. He observed, he reacted. Now what can we do about this? And don’t tell me you don’t need anybody because that’s just negligent. You have needs too and they must be addressed. It’s your duty and I’ll help you. I am helping you.

Your primary need, and I’m observing this now, is to take your waning social skills in hand and convert them, as soon as you are able, into something a little more agreeable because you are your own worst enemy. Hal cared, he really did, but you just didn’t see it. I’m not taking sides, but the guy has a point.

Now, if you’re going to continue to be a bitch, my assessment of the situation is that it’s not irrevocable but you’re going to have to —you’re going to walk out while I’m sharing my observations? Bitch! Ungrateful bitch.

A gentle reminder of the Third Competency:

‘ When I use a word,’ Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone,‘ it means just what I choose it to mean—neither more nor less.’
‘The question is,’ said Alice, ‘ whether you can make words mean so many different things.’
‘ The question is,’ said Humpty Dumpty, ‘ which is to be master — that’s all.’ 

~ Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking Glass

Questions for discussion and reflection

What do you imagine Marvin needs from his sister in this current scenario?
Based upon what you imagine his needs are, create an alternative narrative to this piece in the voice of Marvin in “I” statements.
In what way do you think Marvin is vulnerable, relative to his sister?
Identifying with vulnerability can be challenging, especially in a competitive world.
Can you describe three times you felt particularly vulnerable and projected a part of yourself, your ideas, fears and/or hopes onto a person, group or situation?

Explore your needs in those situations and state them.

Part Four>